


Cantus Firmus (Jeongcheol)

by LaniBlack



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Crushes, Fluff, Idols, M/M, Secret Crush, Trainee, Trainee Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2020-03-01 00:52:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 12,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaniBlack/pseuds/LaniBlack
Summary: "Hey! New trainee?"That was when Choi Seungcheol first laid eyes on the newbie, Jeonghan. With a new addition to the team, he finds himself falling for a certain long haired boy. Will Jeonghan feel the same? Or will he be oblivious to Seungcheol's feelings?





	1. Boy with a Black Backpack

And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you."  
—Iain Thomas

Choi Seungcheol peered out onto the street. Scanning the faces, he tried to use his "ability" to pinpoint the possible trainee who is heading towards the company. The bus unloaded another bunch of people. He squinted.

Guy with a moustache. No. Young boy with a skateboard. Too young. Boy with a black backpack. Bingo.

The boy walked with an air of nervousness. That was when Seungcheol knew he spotted a new trainee. When he walked near the building, he got a good look at his face. Black, choppy bangs swept across his forehead, paired with eyes that seemed to sparkle. Thin lips pressed together, as if he was stressed.

_Well, he's certainly good looking enough to be an idol._ Seungcheol thought.

"Hey!" He yelled when the boy got near. "New trainee?" He looked taken aback when he was randomly called out. He looked at Seungcheol dubiously.  


"I'm from Pledis Entertainment. Are you the new trainee?" He repeated. The boy's ears perked up at the mention of the company and nodded. Seungcheol extended his hand for a handshake. The boy timidly took his hand and pumped once. His slender fingers wrapped around Seungcheol's delicately. He lead the way, both of them entering the building.

"I'm Choi Seungcheol. I'm nineteen. Oldest trainee for the group. Also trained the longest. You?"

"Yoon Jeonghan. I...I'm also nineteen." He said quietly. Seungcheol's eyebrows shot up. Okay. A 19 year old as a new trainee.

"Well, it's good to have someone my age here."  
They arrived at the practice room. The boy's antics and loud voices could be heard from behind the door.

"This is where we train." Jeonghan looked at the door. The loud sounds from the room amplifying his nerves.

"Hey. Don't worry. They're good kids. You'll fit right in." Seungcheol, seeming to read his mind, reassured him. Patting his back, he opened the door, revealing a glimpse of what might be Jeonghan's future.


	2. Progress

"Step, pump, step." Soonyoung, the main dancer ordered as the other trainees followed his moves. Seungcheol stepped forward, in sync with the others.

"Now turn and pick the one in front of you like a tissue." The trainees did as instructed.

"Ah- sorry..." A voice from the back of the room said weakly. Seungcheol peered over. It was Jeonghan. "I...I messed up."

"Ah. Jeonghan...hyung. It's okay let's just do it again." Soonyoung said awkwardly. Jeonghan scratched his head. It has been a month and he still hasn't quite fit in as Seungcheol had hoped. Practice also has not been great. The boys started the routine again.

An hour later, they called for a break. Most of the boys flopped down on the floor, exhausted. At the corner of his eye, Seungcheol saw Jeonghan quietly walk out the practice room. He followed and put his hand on his shoulder to stop him in his tracks.

"Where are you going?" Seungcheol breathed, still breathless from practice. Jeonghan's pale face looked startled.

"Uh...I needed to take a walk."

"We aren't allowed go out by ourselves."

"Oh." Jeonghan's face fell.

"You okay?" Seungcheol gently gripped his shoulder. He didn't answer. Silently, a tear dropped from his eye.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Seungcheol anxiously gripped his shoulder tighter, making Jeonghan face him.

"I'm no good at dancing...or singing. It...feels like I'm wasting my time here."

"Hey, don't say that. You already did better than I did when I only had a month of training."

"You're just saying that..." He wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"No, and if you think it's hard I can always teach you. You can ask anyone in the room. They'll be glad to help."

"I'm not too close with any of them..." Jeonghan mumbled to himself.

"Look, this stuff takes time. They are all good kids so if you make an effort to talk to them they'll do the same." He stayed silent.

"C'mon. I'll teach you the routine. Let's practice." Grabbing his slender arm, he dragged Jeonghan back into the room.

"It's easier to remember the moves if you connect them together." Seungcheol danced in one fluid motion. Jeonghan first struggled, then slowly moved his limbs to the beat.

"See? It wasn't so bad." He waved to Soonyoung. "Hey Soonyoungie! Teach us the next step? I forgot." The boy shot both of them a cheerful smile and taught the steps patiently. Soon, all three of them danced in sync.

"Jeonghan hyung, good job." He gave him a thumbs up. Jeonghan smiled and thanked him. Seungcheol looked at their interaction and ruffled Jeonghan's head. Looks like things are going to be alright after all.


	3. A Walk to Remember

"Why do you like taking walks so much?" Seungcheol asked. The summer air was a bit hot but Jeonghan didn't mind.

"It gives me time to slow down to think for a bit..." The sound of their shoes scratching on the concrete, both hands swinging mindlessly. The bugs in the trees chirped, as they both walked in a comfortable silence.

"What do you usually think about?" Seungcheol broke the silence, letting his curiosity get the best of him. He did not particularly enjoy walks, but walking with Jeonghan didn't seem too bad.

"Well...a lot of things. Usually it's my parents. Or my sister. Sometimes I think about my decision. Being a trainee. Or an idol."

"Are you worried? That you can't make it?" Seungcheol prodded at the question.

"Why? Are YOU worried?" Jeonghan quipped.

"Yes." Seungcheol admitted. "But not about making it. I was worried you'll get tired of...this." Jeonghan raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"You know, the endless practicing...if we debut then we have to deal with dieting, schedules, not sleeping...It's a miracle we're all crazy enough to do this."

Jeonghan chuckled, brushing his hair out of his face. They were nearing the company. Seungcheol glanced at him, the streetlights illuminating his side profile, highlighting his eyelashes and lips. Suddenly, he wished the walk would just be a little longer.

"True. But I think...I won't get tired of this. At least not yet." Jeonghan's reply brought him back to reality.

"You better not." Seungcheol bit his shoulder playfully, earning a gentle slap from him. Slinging his arm over Jeonghan's shoulder, they walked to the building, the streetlights behind them twinkling.


	4. Hide and Seek

"Guys, this is Jisoo. Or Joshua. He's from America but his Korean is very good." Seungcheol patted Joshua on the back, introducing him to the other trainees. The trainees gathered around, curious about the new addition to the team.

"Go talk to the new kid." Seungcheol nudged Jeonghan, who was still sitting down at a corner.  
"He's our age and he's pretty nice so far."

Joshua introduced himself to the gathering trainees before approaching Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

"Hi, I'm Joshua." He smiled. Jeonghan shook his hand and after a while they were sat talking animatedly.

"Wow, they really clicked huh." Soonyoung commented. Seungcheol glanced at them at the corner of his eye.

"I guess they did."

"Now you guys don't have to cling to each other so much." Soonyoung snickered.

"What? No, we don't."

"Yeah you do. I was beginning to think if Jeonghan hyung was stealing you away from me." He pouted. Seungcheol laughed lightheartedly. "No one's stealing me away from anyone, Soonyoungie."

The next morning, Seungcheol grabbed two energy bars before walking to the second floor of their dorm.

"Hey Jeonghan, wanna have breakf-" He stopped when he saw him sitting and talking with Joshua.

"Oh, Josh already got em for me." Seungcheol saw the empty wrappers on the table. Josh? They're already on nickname status now? 

"Oh, well. More for me!" He forced a smile and closed the door, walking back. Slumping down on his chair, he chewed on his energy bar.

Practice began as usual. At the end of the day, all the trainees all looked tired of practicing. To lift their spirits, Soonyoung gathered all of them in the dorms.

"Guys! Hide and seek!" Soonyoung hollered and they cheered. Once Seokmin was chosen to be the seeker, all the trainees scrambled to find a good hiding spot.

This is his chance! Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan's hand and ran into one of the rooms. Then he shoved both of them in the gap between the wall and the closet. They were facing each other, with Jeonghan's back against the wall. Seokmin's faint voice was counting to zero in the living room.

Seungcheol gestured to his lips. "Shh..." and Jeonghan quietly nodded, feeling slightly giddy from hiding. Seungcheol was transfixed on Jeonghan's hair, noticing how the bangs fell over his eyes.

"Your hair's getting long." He whispered, gently pulling at the strands.

"Didn't have the time to cut it." Jeonghan softly whispered back.

"Don't. It kinda suits you." He smoothed out the hair, almost absentmindedly, and tucked a strand behind Jeonghan's ear.

"Didn't know you liked it long." Jeonghan remarked. Seungcheol glanced at him.

 _I didn't know I liked a lot of things._ He thought. _But here we are._

"AHA!" Seokmin's excited yell made both of them jump. "I KNEW there would be someone here!" Seungcheol groaned and let himself out, pulling Jeonghan by the wrist.

"Come on! We lost like, what? Five minutes into the game?" He whined, playfully hitting Seokmin in the arm.

"You guys were TALKING. What are you even talking about in the middle of a game?" Seokmin threw his arms in the air dramatically.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan shared a smile. He looped his arm around Jeonghan's shoulder, walking towards the door.

"C'mon. Let's take a walk."


	5. Sleephyhead

"Good work today on your evaluation. Jeonghan, great improvement on your dancing. Vernon, I like your lyrics." One of the producers in our company pointed at some of the members at our monthly evaluation.

"Well, I was asked to tell you guys that you get the rest of the day off-" The trainee's excited yells exploded in the room. "...so enjoy these couple hours but do not get into any trouble." He jabbed his finger at us and walked away.

"Thank you, Dong-min Producer nim!" All the trainees bowed and chanted in sync and they all broke into clusters of excited conversations.

"Jeonghan! Jihoon! Over here!" Seungcheol hollered at the two trainees, waving them over. Fifteen minutes later, Mingyu, Wonwoo, Joshua, Soonyoung, Jihoon, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol sat in a BBQ restaurant beside their company.

"I haven't had Samgyeopsal in SO long." Mingyu exclaimed, cutting the meat into smaller pieces. The tongs slipped from his grip and Wonwoo, who was sat beside him, caught it.

"Geez, you're clumsier than a sleepy Seungcheol!" Soonyoung swatted at his back. Jihoon snickered.

"Hey!" Seungcheol said, offended. "I'm getting attacked out of nowhere?" The whole table laughed and Jeonghan sat comfortably between Seungcheol and Joshua, helping the others pour sodas.

"Too bad we don't get to drink soju. Jeonghan hyung, you should've seen Seungcheol hyung drunk! The guy has ZERO filter." Soonyoung continued poking fun at Seungcheol.

"Ooh, we should get him drunk sometime." Jeonghan teased and they high fived. After dinner, they all walked back to the dorms.

"We're grabbing some snacks in the store. Don't wait up." Mingyu said, dragging Wonwoo to the nearest convenience store. The others arrived at the dorm.

"I'm gonna get some sleep." Joshua said with a smile. "Thanks for bringing me out, it was fun."

"No problemo." Soonyoung tipped his imaginary cap. "Let's do it again sometime." His voice trailed as he waltzed back into his room. Joshua and Jihoon followed since they share the room with bunk beds.

Seungcheol looked like he wanted to say something but he stopped himself and patted Jeonghan on the back.

"You should get some rest. Goodnight." He walked back to his room. Jeonghan gave him a tiny wave and also went to his room. It was empty. It looks like the other kids weren't back yet. Settling into his bed, he sighed contently. He considers himself lucky to be one of the few who did not have to use a bunk bed. His bed is not exactly king sized, but at least it's comfortable. His eyelids are getting droopy when he heard shuffling from behind his door and a soft knock.

Peeking from behind the door was Seungcheol.

"I couldn't sleep but there's nothing to do." He pouted cutely. He went over and sat on the bed. His messy hair was sticking all over from the sides and Jeonghan fought the urge to laugh at how disheveled he looks.

"How about some TV?" Jeonghan pressed the remote and browsed through the channels while Seungcheol made himself comfortable in the sheets. "Ooh, Haunted Asylum is on."

"Of all things to watch, you chose THAT?" Seungcheol said in disbelief. He sat next to Jeonghan anyway and the movie started. The screen showed two teenagers entering an abandoned hospital. Seungcheol pulled the sheets further up his neck as the teenagers entered a room. The door slammed closed in one of the hospital wards and Seungcheol flinched and produced a tiny squeak. 

Jeonghan giggled at his reaction. "It wasn't even that scary." Seungcheol glared at him but continued watching with the sheets half covering his eyes. He kept squealing and cowering until halfway through the movie, when he was properly burying himself in the crook of Jeonghan's neck.

"No, I don't wanna watch it anymore..." His muffled voice vibrated in Jeonghan's neck and he turned off the TV. Seungcheol got a whiff of Jeonghan's hair and he was reminded of rainy mornings and coffee. He decided that he liked how he smelled.

"Are you sniffing me?" Seungcheol looked up to see Jeonghan with a disapproving smirk on his face. He poked Seungcheol. "You're weird."

Seungcheol made a face. "You're more weird." He poked him back. They ended up bickering and talking until it was dark and eventually both of their sleepy heads fell onto the pillow.

When Jeonghan woke he realized it was 3AM. Beside him is a fluffy ball of hair who was lightly snoring.

"Seungcheol. Seungcheol! Wake up, we fell asleep." He whispered. The other trainees seems to have gotten into their beds and fell asleep as well. The ball of fluff blinked slowly, seemingly grumpy that someone woke him up.

"What...but I don't wanna move." He mumbled in his sleep induced state, and fell back onto the pillow. Jeonghan tried to protest but seeing his eyes closed peacefully with his full lashes resting against his cheek, he smiled at the cute pout Seungcheol wore even in his sleep.

Pulling the sheets higher over Seungcheol, he, too closed his eyes, settling into a peaceful slumber.


	6. Winters with You

Most people love winters because of the snow. But not Jeonghan. His slender body and weak immune system made winters unbearable since he would always fall sick. This winter was no exception.

Groaning, he dropped another crumpled up piece of tissue onto the pile. He woke up an hour ago and to his horror he caught a cold. His nose is stuffy, his voice cracks, his joints felt like lead and he was sporting a huge headache. Great. Just great. The other trainees already got out of bed to wash up, assuming that he wants to sleep a bit more.

"Wake up Hannie, rise and shin-" Seungcheol's morning call was interuppted by Jeonghan's weak coughs.

"Are you okay?" Seungcheol's searching hands found his warm cheeks and forehead, trying to check his temperature.

"No...don't get too close. Don't wanna get you sick too..." Jeonghan rasped with the last of his voice but Seungcheol's worried gaze met his eyes. Jeonghan, on the other hand, had his mind on something else.

"Just give me a minute. I will change and go down to practice..." He said feebly. But when he looked up he saw Seungcheol's eyes widen in disbelief and possibly, anger.

"Are you crazy?" Seungcheol scolded. "You're sick. You can't go to practice."

"But what about our monthly evaluation..."

"Do it when you get better. I'm sure they'll understand."

"But...I can't miss evaluation. We're almost gonna debut...don't wanna get kicked out." Jeonghan's cracked voice still protested and Seungcheol sighed at his stubbornness.

"Look. I'll call the representative and explain, okay? No one's kicking you out. I'm calling him now." Seungcheol took out his phone and started dialling. When he spoke, Jeonghan stared at Seungcheol, letting his husky voice slowly lull him to sleep.

"Hannie. Hey." Jeonghan opened his eyes when Seungcheol woke him gently. "I asked him and he said you could take the day off. I'm also staying here to take care of you."

"...you can't miss practice, Cheol." Jeonghan craned his head to look at Seungcheol.

"Yes, I can. I'm one of the best, remember? I'll catch up in no time." Ignoring Jeonghan's weak protests, he put the back of his hand against his forehead.

"You're burning up. I'll get you some tea and medicine."

A few minutes later, Seungcheol came back into the room. He set the cup on the bedside table before going to Jeonghan. Cupping his neck gently, he propped him up.

"Okay, let's get you up." Jeonghan whined a bit but straightened his back obediently. He let Seungcheol's soothing pats on his back calm him as he felt the rim of the cup against his lips.

"Jasmine tea. Your favorite." The cup gently tipped and Jeonghan quietly sipped the warm liquid.

"Now open up." Jeonghan did so and Seungcheol popped the pill into his mouth. He pulled the covers over Jeonghan, smoothing out the sheets.

"Get some rest. I'll...try to cook some rice porridge for you." He thought over his lack of culinary skills and cringed. There was a whine from the bed. "What? What is it?" He worriedly went to the bed again.

"Don't go..." Jeonghan's hand weakly clutched onto Seungcheol's, tugging at his fingers. Seungcheol looked over at Jeonghan, who pouted. Feeling his heart thaw a little, he relented.

"Alright." He sighed, grabbing a chair and sat down next to the bed, holding Jeonghan's hand. Jeonghan surveyed the situation and was apparently not satisfied.

"Closer..." Jeonghan said in a muffled voice and squeezed Seungcheol's hand. His headache made him lose most of his inhibitions, with only his comfort in mind. Seungcheol obeyed and promptly sat on the bed, gently laying Jeonghan's head on his lap.

"Better?" Seungcheol ran his fingers over Jeonghan's bangs. He coughed and hummed in content. He continued stroking his semi-long hair, feeling Jeonghan's head grow heavier by the second. He peered at Jeonghan who had his eyes closed. Even with pale cheeks and cracked lips, he still looks beautiful. He couldn't help but cup his warm cheek, caressing slightly.

Jeonghan felt the pills hit him with drowsiness, but when his head rested on Seungcheol's lap and he felt a hand on his cheek, he snuggled closer to the source of his comfort.

"Cheol-ah. Thank you."

Maybe this winter isn't so bad after all. 


	7. SEVENTEEN

"Do you guys even...want to debut?" The company representative eyed the panting trainees.

"Y-yes sir!"

"Well, why can't I see it?" He paced around the room slowly. "Two of you got the choreography wrong and one of you even danced to the wrong beat!" His disapproving stare grazed over them.

"Prove it to me that you ARE passionate about this. Then maybe you get to debut." He walked out, the rest of the staff followed him. The trainees, even in their shell-shocked state, still bowed politely until he disappeared out of sight.

"Seriously, they're postponing our debut again?" Mingyu grumbled, lying on the ground in a heap. "Aren't we all tired of-"

"Everyone get up." Seungcheol's voice echoed in the room. Everyone stopped talking and sensed the tension in the air.

"WHAT are you doing sitting there? Get UP!" Seungcheol ordered, the trainees scrambling to their feet. For a while, he was silent. Jeonghan could see behind that silence, was barely controlled anger.

"So this is all we got?" He is expressionless as he surveyed everyone. "After all this time, all we can do is to half-ass a performance?"

There was a few mumbled no's.

"Is this ALL we've got?" His voice was deathly quiet now.

"No!"

He can't seem to control his frustration, and stormed out of the room. The trainees looked to his direction, either worried or terrified.

"Seungcheol hyung is REALLY scary when he's angry for real." Chan whispered.

"What should we do? Go after him?" Seungkwan slowly walked to the door but then was dragged backwards.

"No! Are you insane? He'll probably kill you."

"C'mon, he's not THAT bad." Jeonghan quipped, watching the younger one's reactions.

"Yeah he's just having a bad day. We all are." Joshua joined in. "Jeonghan, you should go talk to him." The others agree, too terrified to approach their leader.

Jeonghan worriedly exited the room, searching all over the company for a glimpse of Seungcheol. He was about to give up when he passed the 5th floor balcony. There he saw someone's back. They seem to stand completely still, gripping on the rail. He knew it had to be Seungcheol.

"Hey." He said softly before closing the balcony door behind him. Seungcheol did not move or turn around. Not knowing what else to do, he placed a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles in hopes of calming him.

"You wanna talk about it?" He didn't answer. After a while when Jeonghan thought he just wanted to be alone he spoke.

"Jeonghan-ah." His voice was huskier than usual. "Do you think I'm a bad leader?"

"No, of course not." He replied without hesitation. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I'm not sure if the team is making ANY progress." His voice trembled but he continued. "And it's on me."

He turned around and that's when Jeonghan saw his tears.

"It's all on me, Jeonghan." His voice cracked. All this time, Jeonghan had been oblivious. While everyone else was only worried about their own improvement, Seungcheol had to take everyone as his own responsibility. It broke his heart, seeing the usually cheerful and strong Seungcheol crumble right in front of his eyes.

"It's not all on you." He said, wiping off Seungcheol's tears with his sleeve. "Tonight is just because everyone's nervous. You've trained us well. We DID make progress. Lots of it." 

Seungcheol sniffled.

"Also, you're not a bad leader at all. You took care of all of us, trained us, motivated us...and even though everyone's a little scared of you-" Seungcheol could not help but laugh a little at that. "-you make a great leader."

"Really?" Seungcheol asked dubiously, his shoulders slumping.

"Yes. Now let's wipe off your tears and go back to the kids. They're all waiting for you." He grabbed Seungcheol's arm. "And let's prove to the company that we deserve to debut."

The following week might be the most stressful one yet. Seungcheol talked to the rest of the trainees and now they are all set on achieving one goal — to prove that they're worthy. They all went through sleepless nights of practicing, dedicating every bead of sweat for their dream.

After a week, they did their evaluation. The representative looked thoughtful. He whispered to the other judges and cleared his throat. "We have a lot to discuss. We'll let you know by the end of the day." And that's that. The trainees looked at each other worriedly but said nothing.

Seungcheol heaved a sigh. "Guys, we all did our best and let's just stay hopeful, okay? We did well." Jeonghan saw his shoulders tremble, he saw Seungcheol carrying the weight of the world when he was still very much a kid. They all are.

"Good work, everyone." He echoed, patting the trainees in the back, ushering them to go back and rest. He looked up and met Seungcheol's eyes. He gave him a tentative smile.

A few hours later, Seungcheol was called into the meeting room. He stood in front of the door, his heart pounding.

_This is what our lives have lead to._

He knocked, and walked in. The representative greeted him with a smile. "We have evaluated and discussed in detail on behalf of the debut of your team." He paused. "You made it. SEVENTEEN is going to debut. Congratulations."

Seungcheol swore he was hearing things. The representative opened his palm and produced 13 rings. "Here, your team rings. I trust you to give it to them and announce the big news. Lead them well, Seungcheol."

He held the rings and that was when it settled in. He bowed again and again, grateful tears threatening to spill as he shook hands with everyone in the room. "Thank you. I will do my best. We all will."

He walked out in a daze, the ring an unfamiliar weight around his fingers. Bursting into the dorms, he held up the rings and panted. "Guys...we- we did it. We made it!" Everyone was shocked for a second before erupting in cheers, Seungkwan had tears streaming down his face and Mingyu chortled excitedly. They all gathered around to put on the rings.

Seungcheol looked around. One person was missing. "Where's Jeonghan?"

"He went out. I'm not sure where, though."

With that he ran out of the dorms, clutching one last ring. No sign of Jeonghan on his usual walking trail. He looked up and scanned the building. There was someone on the fifth floor balcony. He went into the building again, this time taking huge strides to run up to the fifth floor.

"Hey." He panted as he opened the balcony door. Jeonghan turned around, surprised.

"Why are you all the way...up here?" Seungcheol breathed, exhausted.

"I was nervous." Jeonghan admitted. "Didn't wanna wallow in misery so I went up here."

"I, uh, got the results." Seungcheol decided to be straightforward. Jeonghan's eyes widened. He looked at Seungcheol for some sort of indication but he is not giving it away.

"Well, aren't you gonna tell me?" 

Seungcheol suppressed a smile. "Give me your hand."

"What?"

"Give me your hand." Jeonghan obediently put his hand on Seungcheol's, feeling the calluses on his palm. But it held a certain warmth that makes him not want to let go.

"Yoon Jeonghan. Will you debut with me?" Seungcheol held up the ring with his other hand. Jeonghan was initially shocked but laughed.

"You're so cheesy, you know that?" He said, exasperated but his shoulders slumped in relief. "We did it huh."

"Well, are you going to answer me or not?" Seungcheol protested, only half joking. He saw Jeonghan laugh again.

"Yes, Choi Seungcheol. I will debut with you." With that, Seungcheol slipped the ring into his index finger. Then he grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. Jeonghan's slender body folding into his. Jeonghan hugged him back, both of their hearts beating in sync.

"It's gonna be challenging, you know." Seungcheol said, neither of them letting go.

But I can do anything, if you're by my side.


	8. Debut

_Who is this? This isn't me._

Jeonghan stared at his reflection in horror, his fingers trembling as he smoothed them over his hair. His long, BLEACHED hair. Jeonghan, once dark haired, is now sporting a head of long, light brown hair with highlights.

 

He felt bad, cowering in one of the storage rooms in the salon. But he could not risk letting everyone see his transformation just to get laughed at.

 

"Guys! It's time to move! Music Bank starts early today!" A shout came from outside and a lot of shuffling was heard.

 

"Jeonghan? Where are you? Jeongh-" Seungcheol's head peeked from behind the door. "Here you are." Jeonghan did not say anything, he let his head droop.

 

"Hey. What's wrong?"

 

"Look at this." Jeonghan gestured to his hair. "My hair." He wailed. Seungcheol looked confused for a second but his eyes were replaced with understanding.

 

"What's wrong with it? I actually like your hair." Seungcheol gently combed his long hair, patting Jeonghan's head.

 

"Everyone will be talking about how weird this is..." Jeonghan mumbled. Personally, he does not enjoy being at the centre of attention and gossip.

 

"OR, they will talk about how good it looks." Seungcheol grabbed his hand reassuringly. "Look, we just have to walk to music bank, perform our debut stage, and a radio show. That's it." He squeezed his hand. "You promised to debut with me, and I will be there every step of the way."

 

Jeonghan nodded. "Okay." He let Seungcheol lead him out of the room and they got in the car, on the way to their first debut stage.

 

Shutters clicking. Cameras everywhere. Looming equipment and crowds of people on the left and right, with only one way to the music station. Jeonghan felt his anxiety peak and glanced at Seungcheol. He felt his gaze on him and put his arm around Jeonghan's shoulders. Together, they walked towards the venue.

 

The moment long haired Jeonghan walked out of the car there are some gasps and whispers. Camera shutters went off and he felt rooted to the ground. Seungcheol seemed to sense his worry and pulled him even closer. He hurried his pace and soon, they were inside.

 

All thirteen boys gathered in the dressing room, some having their makeup done, some practicing. There was a buzz of nervous excitement in the air.

 

"Guys, let's do this part again." Soonyoung, aka Hoshi, being the perfectionist that he is, guided a few members to go over the choreography again. Jeonghan sat in his seat, a bundle of nerves jumbled in his stomach. The thought of standing on stage with cameras focusing on his every move is frightening to say the least. His feet acted as if it has its own mind, bringing him to where Seungcheol(S.coups) was.

 

"Cheol. I-I don't know if I can do this." He stuttered, searching for Seungcheol's eyes. He felt his face being cupped by two big, warm palms, and now he is staring at Seungcheol's warm reassuring eyes.

 

"Don't overthink this. You trained two years for this, remember? I've seen you improve so much and you're ready. You're all ready." He gestured to the room full of people. "We are all doing this together. All thirteen of us." Jeonghan let himself focus on Seungcheol's eyes, the warmth of his palms warming his cheeks. He felt a surge of calmness wash over him.

 

"Come." Seungcheol pulled him to the centre of the room and called everyone in. All thirteen people locked their hands together in a circle.

 

"We've worked hard. I am so proud of us for sticking together for all these years." Seungcheol took a deep breath. "Now let's give it our all for our debut stage. And every stage after that."

 

With a shout, he said, "Say the name!"

 

Everyone else said in unison, "SEVENTEEN!"


	9. Adore U

The first few weeks were hard. None of them were used to working until well past midnight and waking up with only a few hours of sleep. Still, they carried on, their passion and young dreams becoming the source of their energy. Soon, it was the end of their promotion period.

 

"아낀다(Adore U)!" They sang, giving it their all. The music came to a stop and they smiled at the audience, exhausted and sweaty. Few of the girls held up signs and they all bowed appreciatively. Seungcheol waved at the audience.

 

"Thank you! We'll be back!" The members did the same and bid goodbye to the few fans who attended. Arm in arm, they ambled backstage, and was driven back to the company.

 

"Your debut has been doing pretty good so far. We're not exactly the most popular group yet, but we've gotten some exposure. Good job, SEVENTEEN." The representative gave them a nod of acknowledgement. They all cheered, giving each other high fives.

 

"You'll have to work on your next album soon. Self-producing idols, aren't y'all?" He chuckled, slapping S.coups on the shoulder.

 

"For now you guys can rest for a bit. You've worked hard." With that, everyone is dismissed.

 

The whole team decided to go out for a meal. They all sat down, pouring drinks and grilling meat. Mingyu and Seungkwan somehow started to bicker and the whole restaurant is filled with chatter.

 

"Okay, settle down." Seungcheol waved them down and stood up, holding up his glass. "I wanna make a toast." He was greeted with cheers and hollers, the excited boys cheering on their leader.

 

"We did it. Our first album. Our first promotions. Thank you guys. Here's to many more years together." He raised it up high and the members raised their glasses of alcohol. Well, some of them. The underage members held up their sodas. They all drank to the toast regardless, tipping their glasses to the last drop.

 

The night went on as some of the members started to get a little tipsy. Jeonghan only had one drink, making sure he can get the others back safely. Joshua accompanied Jeonghan on his sober expedition, carrying some of the members back to the dorms.

 

"Oof, you're heavy." Jeonghan panted as he settled a very heavy Seungcheol onto the couch. The other members all retired to their rooms. He then walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Propping him up, he lifted the glass to his lips, watching the older take down a few gulps before putting down the glass.

 

"C'mon. Let's get you to bed." He grabbed his arm and pulled. Seungcheol barely moved and opened his droopy eyes.

 

"I don't wanna sleep." He grumbled, frowning at his eyebrows.

 

"You should. Or else you're gonna have a hangover tomorrow."

 

"I don't wanna!" Seungcheol seemed to grow more annoyed. He pointed at the remote. "TV! I wanna watch TV!" Jeonghan sighed and pressed on the remote. A random soap opera was on. Seungcheol seemed satisfied and leaned on Jeonghan's shoulder.

 

Jeonghan sat comfortably. Glancing at Seungcheol's alcohol-induced pink cheeks, he smiled at how childlike the oldest is sometimes.

 

Seungcheol leaned more of his weight in Jeonghan, almost in a cuddling position. He looked at the television, then back at Jeonghan. It seemed like the latter is a much more appealing option.

 

"TV's boring." He slurred. "...rather watch you." He stared at Jeonghan, at the tip of his cute nose and the slight curve of his lips. At his cheekbones and his light brown hair, silky against his fingers.

 

"Hmm?" Jeonghan was not paying attention. Seungcheol whined.

 

"Look at me." He demanded, slightly angry that he was not given the attention he wanted. Jeonghan heard him this time. He looked at Seungcheol expectantly.

 

"You're so beautiful." Seungcheol blurted out. Jeonghan looked slightly taken aback but he recovered quickly.

 

"Thanks?" Jeonghan laughed nervously. His smile was all it took for Seungcheol to blurt out what has been on his mind for almost two years.

 

"I like you." He breathed, alcohol still fresh on his breath. "...too much sometimes." As if giving him proof, his gaze unconsciously drifted down to Jeonghan's lips. He felt the familiar tenderness every time he looks at Jeonghan. The slight tug of attraction. A part of him wanted to know if he felt the same.

 

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was Jeonghan's hand gently patting his back. Or maybe it was because he wanted to do this for a long time. He wasn't sure, nor that he cared. His hand came up to Jeonghan's cheek in a caress.

 

Jeonghan sat frozen at the words that just spilled out of Seungcheol's lips. He felt a warm hand on his cheek and their gazes met. One wide-eyed and another heavy with alcohol. The air between them seemed to be charged with some kind of tension, waiting for something to happen.

 

Seungcheol pulled Jeonghan closer, finally catching a whiff of his scent. Hmm, rainy mornings. Jeonghan's eyes flashed with an unrecognizable emotion. But he wasn't pulling away. Seungcheol made up his mind and leaned in, their breaths almost mingling. He could almost swear that Jeonghan leaned in a little, too. Their warm breaths were dancing together, with their lips barely an inch away.

 

But before he could lean any further, he felt his eyelids grow heavier and heavier and his head fell on Jeonghan's lap, the alcohol consuming him entirely. He did not remember Jeonghan's exasperated laugh. Nor did he remember his hair being brushed away from his face, while Jeonghan sat there, thoughtful for a while. Nor did he remember being carried all the way to his room, where he was gently tucked into his bed.

 

The only thing he remembered though, was how Jeonghan, in his sober state, had his ears tinted pink as well.


	10. Falling for U

Jeonghan rubbed his tired eyes as the morning rays hit the curtains. He barely slept last night. What (almost) happened seemed to be permanently engraved on his mind. He quickly walked to the bathroom, trying to avoid bumping into a particular someone.

"Jeonghan-ah." A familiar arm was draped over his shoulder. He turned face to face with the devil himself. He froze, his heart quickening at his close proximity.

"Hurry and tell the kids to brush their teeth. Jihoon finished composing so we're writing lyrics today!" Seungcheol's usual casual, laid back self is here.

"O-okay." Jeonghan frowned. Seungcheol is acting like nothing happened last night and Jeonghan was dumbfounded.

"See you in a bit!" Seungcheol let go of Jeonghan, giving him a small wave before descending downstairs. Jeonghan stood silent with the toothbrush still in his mouth.

Maybe Seungcheol had forgotten what happened, Jeonghan told himself. That's good, right? But he couldn't help but feel a stab of disappointment at the thought. He ignored it, brushing his teeth and exited the bathroom.

-

"These are for vocal team...performance team...hip hop." Woozi gave out the sheet music. "Keep in mind that not all of these will be approved. So just do your best. I'll be here if you need me."

The others muttered a few thank yous before gathering in their units and leaving the room to brainstorm.

Jeonghan stayed in the room with the vocal unit and started working. All of them worked together on some verses and individually in others, but Jeonghan could not seem to write anything down. With last night playing over and over again in his mind, it completely consumed his thoughts. A few hours later, he put down his pen, watching as it rolled onto the floor.

"Sorry, Jihoon." He sighed. "I guess I'm all out of ideas today." Woozi, being the considerate composer and lyricist that he is, offered to write the remaining verses and the whole unit is happy to help.

"You guys want a snack? I'll grab some." They all nodded. Eager to make _some_ contribution, Jeonghan half ran to the tuck shop downstairs. The loud chatter signaled that some of his members were there.

Mingyu and Vernon were playing around with their snacks, throwing them into each other's mouths.

"Jeonghan hyung!" They both hollered, giving him high fives.

"How was writing going?" Jeonghan asked his two dongsengs.

"Not great. Our songs are mostly rap but Coups hyung was all sentimental." Mingyu laughed and shook his head. 

Jeonghan's ears perked up at the mention of Seungcheol. "What?"

"Here." Vernon handed him his phone, showing a screen of written lyrics.

"The sweet memory of your lips  
Washes away my drunken thoughts  
Oh, how I wish I could've told you  
That it was not a dream"

He couldn't read any further. Flashes of memories flitted across his eyes again, his thoughts jumbled once more. He handed the phone back wordlessly.

"Weird right? It's sentimental and all but it really doesn't fit our theme." Vernon commented.

"Yeah, weird." Jeonghan replied absentmindedly. He couldn't ignore the heaviness in his chest anymore.

"Sounds awfully personal though. Hyung, is he seeing anyone?" Mingyu joked.

"What? Uh, I don't know." Jeonghan stuttered, his thoughts drowning out everything else.

"I should get going." He left, not bothering to hear their goodbyes as he walked away, not caring which direction he went. He stopped at a random hallway before noticing his empty hands. He forgot to grab the snacks.

He glanced at the door at the end of the hallway. Before he knew it, he was pushing the handle and was out the door.

3 hours later...

"Where is he?!" Seungcheol demanded, as Seventeen gathered around.

"He went out to buy us snacks but he never came back." Joshua said worriedly.

"We saw him." Mingyu and Vernon both shared a glance. "We talked for a bit then he just left."

"Do you know where he went? It's been HOURS." Seungcheol threw his phone onto the table. "He wasn't picking up either."

"He...left his phone here." Woozi pointed to the corner of the room.

"Maybe he went for a walk?" Dino added, scratching his head. "Jeonghan hyung likes walks doesn't he?"

"Should we all go out and find him?" The worried chatter is getting louder by the minute.

Eventually, they all decided to split up, going nearby the company to search for a certain long haired boy.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the distance...

 _What is this place?_ Jeonghan walked and walked until he finally noticed the unfamiliar buildings and roads. _Great, I'm lost._

He thought going outside would be an escape from the confusion in his mind. He was wrong. He thought Seungcheol was too drunk to recall.

 _But he remembered._ More than that, he pretended nothing happened. Jeonghan couldn't help but feel like it was a slap to his face. Did he regret it?

He stopped walking.

_Do I regret it?_

He shook away his thoughts and surveyed his surroundings. Is he getting close or further from the company? He couldn't tell. The sky was getting dark and he was starting to panic. He rummaged his pockets for his phone before he forgot he left it at the company.

His pace quickened as he desperately looked for familiar street signs. The roads were empty and it was getting colder by the minute. He tucked his thin jacket tighter around his body and a wave of panic washed over him. He's got no phone. No wallet. Not a person in sight.

His stomach growled. Depleted of energy, he sat down at the nearest bench, and buried his face in his hands.

He fels colder by the minute. He looked at his pale hands. They're shaking.

"Yoon Jeonghan?" A voice called out from behind him. He turned back to see a silhouette getting closer. He squinted.

"JEONGHAN!"

Could it be? He was so cold that he thought he went delirious, because that voice vaguely sounds like-

"Ya, Jeonghan!" Seungcheol yanked him to his feet. He almost toppled over but steadied himself. He looked furious. The crease between his brows couldn't get any deeper.

"How can you just run away like that? Do you know how worried we've been?" Seungcheol half yelled, his warm breath against the cold going up in white smoke.

"Sorry-" Jeonghan could barely manage to breathe out an apology before he was abruptly pulled into the arms of Choi Seungcheol.

"Don't run away. Please." He didn't even try to hide the desperateness in his voice as he pulled Jeonghan closer, his warmth enveloping the younger's shivering body.

Within Seungcheol's embrace, Jeonghan felt his heart ache with something unfamiliar. The warmth in his heart seem to grow and grow until his arms unconsciously wrapped around Seungcheol's waist, hugging him back just as tightly.

That moment he knew. He did not regret what happened. He couldn't. Not when he was already falling. Falling for a boy named Choi Seungcheol.


	11. Be honest with me

Everyone was exhausted after weeks and weeks of practising. Building on their debut album, they are all determined to improve and get better results. At the end of the day, the entire team was slumped onto every surface on the dorm, too tired to get up.

"I don't wanna eat takeout anymore..." Mingyu groaned, laying flat on the floor.

"I don't think manager hyung cooks, Gyu..." Seungkwan humphed, curled in a heap on the sofa. 

Jeonghan usually looks to Seungcheol for the big decisions, but their leader was already lightly snoring on the floor.

"I'll cook." He volunteered. He only knows how to cook a few simple dishes, but that will do.

'Hyung, you're the best." Dino sounded from the beanie in the corner and yawned.

Jeonghan got up, his muscles protesting from overexertion. He wobbled to the fridge and peered inside to look for ingredients. Eggs, check. Carrots, check. Tofu, check. Chilli paste, check. 

"I'm making tofu stew and egg rolls! Is that alright?" He hollered to the living room. All he got was a few groans of agreement, the tired members mostly drifting off for a nap. He shrugged, starting on chopping the ingredients.

Seungcheol woke up to the sounds of pots and pans banging against each other. He glanced around, the dorm still filled with sleeping members. Groaning as he got up, he ambled to the kitchen to see a head of long hair busying himself.

"Whatcha doing?" The blonde whipped his hair back to see a disheveled Seungcheol leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Oh- just making dinner." He gave Seungcheol a quick smile. "Go back to sleep, I'll call you when it's ready."

"You don't have to cook for us. Aren't you tired?" Seungcheol said lazily, going behind Jeonghan and propping his head onto his shoulder. "Whatchu making?"

"Tofu stew and egg rolls."

"Mm...sounds delicious." Seungcheol inched closer, his chest brushing against Jeonghan's back. Jeonghan felt the warmth radiating from Seungcheol; he didn't mind how touchy Seungcheol usually was, but this is almost...intimate.

"Are you making the eggs now?" Seungcheol pointed at the pan.

"Yes."  
"Aren't you gonna add oil?"  
"I have to make sure the pan's hot enough first."  
"Is that carrots inside the egg?"  
"Yes."  
"How long are you cooking the egg for?"  
"...Seungcheol you gotta let me cook instead of asking me questions every 2 seconds!"

He felt Seungcheol dislodge himself from his back and turned to see the leader being very pouty. With this lips jutted out and creased eyebrows, he looked annoyed. Annoyed but cute.

"...you don't have to yell at me." He then turned his face from Jeonghan in a huff. 

_He's such a child sometimes._ Jeonghan laughed in exasperation. "Why don't you help me set the table? Dinner will be ready in a bit."

Seungcheol humphed. "Fine." He took the utensils from the drawer and cutely stalked to the dining room. Jeonghan smiled, shaking his head as he continued cooking.

-15 minutes later-

"Seungcheol! Come help me taste test!" Jeonghan called. Seungcheol sleepily entered the kitchen and glanced at Jeonghan's spoonful of stew. He eagerly put it in his mouth.

Seungcheol's tastebuds were immediately in a world of _terror_. Where is the bitterness coming from? He forced himself to swallow the contents.

"How is it?" Jeonghan looked at him with that hopeful glimmer in his eyes. Seungcheol blinked. 

"I...uh, I like it." Jeonghan seemed happy and fed him an egg roll.

"What about this?"

When Seungcheol bit into it, he almost gagged. How could an egg roll taste _sour_? He suppressed a cough and swallowed with difficulty. When he looked up to Jeonghan's expectant eyes, he knew he could never let them down.

"It's....good." He gave Jeonghan a thumbs up, while the sourness in his mouth lingered. Jeonghan seemed satisfied with his response and cheerfully brought the food to the dining table.

"Kids! It's time for dinner!"

Eventually, they all sat, gathered at the dining table.

"Ooh, Jeonghan hyung's cooking! We finally get to try it!" Seungkwan exclaimed, putting an egg roll in his mouth. He coughed, the eggs went flying across the table.

"Eww!" Jun avoided the splatter, leaning to Wonwoo. At the same time, Dino was starting on the stew. He made a face.

"Why is the tofu stew BITTER?" He almost spat out the soup. The other members all stopped eating after their first bite.

"What?" muttered a very confused Jeonghan. "Seungcheol tasted them and said they're good though."

The members all turned to look at Seungcheol in disbelief. They did not say anything, but Seungcheol felt like as if he could read their faces.

_What is wrong with you?_

He shrugged, trying his best to look innocent but feeling his nerves pile up. Jeonghan took a spoon and served himself some stew. He coughed. "Oh-god this tastes terrible." Even more confused, he popped an egg roll into his mouth. He spat it out. Then his gaze zeroed onto Seungcheol.

"Why didn't you say it was _this_ bad? I really thought everything was good just like you said!" Jeonghan said accusingly.

"Yeah, Coups hyung! Why would you say that?" Dino piped up.

"Maybe because he has a huge crush on Jeonghan hyung." Mingyu added slyly, elbowing Seungkwan. Both Seungcheol and Jeonghan flushed a deep red.

"What- I... I just thought it..." Seungcheol stuttered, not able to come up with a reasonable explanation.

The whole team ended up getting takeout (as usual). Minghao patted Jeonghan's back, thanking him for cooking dinner nevertheless. Seungcheol kept trying to meet Jeonghan's eyes, but the younger stubbornly avoided his gaze. Then, he had an idea.

"Jeonghannie, would you pass the noodles?" He asked. _He's bound to talk to me_. To his surprise, Jeonghan just scratched his nose and continued eating as if he didn't hear anything. Hoshi snickered and passed the noodles to Seungcheol, giving him a look that said _"You messed up, bro."_ Seungcheol sighed, frustrated.

After dinner, they all cleared up the table and went to their bedrooms. Seungcheol watched as Jeonghan stayed to clean the dishes. The members seemed to be in a hurry to give them some privacy, because in a few minutes, they all retreated back to their bedrooms. Seungcheol hesitantly walked to the kitchen. He took a deep breath.

"Hey." No answer. Jeonghan kept nonchalantly scrubbing the dishes, paying him no attention.

"C'mon, Jeonghan. You can't ignore me _forever_." He heard a snort. Growing more frustrated, he abruptly turned off the tap, shutting off the water. Jeonghan looked at him, deadpanned.

_Finally._

"Look, I'm sorry for lying about the food. I saw you working so hard for it, so I..."

"It was embarrassing, you know that?" Jeonghan and hotly, discarding his gloves and throwing his arms in the air.

"Sorry..." Seungcheol let his head droop. "I just...I didn't want to hurt your feelings. You looked so excited."

He heard the other sigh. "I just wanted to do something for the team, but it feels like I can't."

"What do you mean? You did _so_ much." Seungcheol wound his arms around Jeonghan's waist, hugging him from behind. "You talk to them about their problems, cook for them..."

Jeonghan laughed at that. "I'm not a very good cook, am I?"

"That's cause the stuff in the fridge is expired. Don't blame yourself." Seungcheol cooed, resting his chin on the younger's shoulder. Both of them stilled, Jeonghan still tightly embraced by Seungcheol, savouring the warmth of his arms. He felt his heartbeat quicken.

"Thanks for cooking dinner. I really appreciate it" Seungcheol finally whispered, breaking the silence.

"Well, next time, be honest with me."

Seungcheol tilted his head to glance at Jeonghan, a million unsaid words crossing his mind. He wrapped his arms tighter around his waist.

"I will."


	12. Boys Wish

The chatter in the car got louder as they got closer to the venue.

"Oh my God, I can't believe we're finally having a concert." Seungkwan exclaimed, getting emotional. DK joined in and soon the vocal team car was filled with their cries. Jeonghan and Joshua shared a look while Woozi nodded off.

"Calm down, guys. We're almost there." Their manager reminded them. A few minutes later, the car slowly eased into a stop. After the whole team assembled, they stepped into the stadium. The was filled with thousands of empty seats, waiting to be filled. For a while, the boys were all stunned.

"We're going to have our very first concert." Seungcheol said, in awe. Seungkwan started to wail again and Jeonghan patted him on the back.

"Like SEVENTEEN — Boys Wish Concert" in Yongsan Art Hall. 3200 seats. This is how it all started.

"Let's check the landing platform. Stand on it and jump when it springs up. Make sure you land on the stage with both feet." The instructor said and the boys nodded. After all their rehearsals, it is time for last minute details.

Hoshi went first and he sprung up, landing lightly on his feet.

"Nice. Next." Jeonghan was across the stage practicing his choreography when he heard a thump and an "Ow!" from where the boys were standing. He hurried to see what happened. There, sitting on the floor with his face twisted in pain, was Seungcheol.

"We have to get him to the hospital." The managers ordered and the boys looked worriedly at their leader.

"I'll be fine. Go- go practice." Seungcheol said through gritted teeth. It must have hurt. Jeonghan gripped his arm, getting him up. They wobbled to the car and Jeonghan gently pushed him in. He watched as the car sped away.

That night, he couldn't sleep. He flipped over on his other side then he heard a rustle at the door. His phone read 3:08AM. He opened his door to find Seungcheol grabbing into his manager's arm, trying to get through the door. He silently went to Seungcheol's side and helped get him into his room.

"You look terrible." Jeonghan commented, noticing Seungcheol's tired eyes. He gestured at his bandaged ankle. "What did they say?"

"I can't dance... for a whole week." Seungcheol sighed in frustration, taking off his cap and throwing it on the ground.

"Hey." Jeonghan said gently, sitting on his bed. "You can still rap. You'll just...sit."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows. He sighed again. "I- It's our first concert and I blew it. How stupid of me."

"It could happen to anyone, you know. Also, you don't dance _that_ well-" A strong arm looped around his neck in a chokehold and he was gently tackled onto the bed.

"Jeonghannie, my arms still works fine." Seungcheol threatened playfully. Jeonghan whined a bit before being released from his hold.

"We're gonna have more concerts in the future and you WILL get to dance in them. You can still rap and talk to our fans tomorrow." Jeonghan pulled the covers over him. 'It's late, go to sleep."

"Why are you even up this late?" Seungcheol asked curiously. "You miss me don't you?" He smirked, looking smug..

"You're delusional." Jeonghan huffed and finished tucking him in. He felt his hand being grabbed and he was pulled onto the bed.

"Stay." Suddenly, Seungcheol's face was inches away from his. Jeonghan blinked. He thought he saw Seungcheol's eyes fall on his lips for a second. He shyed away, wriggling out of his hold.

"You're not a baby, Seungcheol-"

"Please?" The grip on his hand tighter now, as Seungcheol looked at him with his puppy eyes. And when Jeonghan almost said no again, Seungcheol took off his own ring and slipped it onto Jeonghan's finger.

"Here. You're trapped now." Seungcheol smiled gleefully, like he was a kid who won in a game. Jeonghan sighed in defeat and kicked off the covers. He climbed in, careful not to jiggle the bed. He realized they're facing each other, their breaths mingling. Jeonghan felt his face heat up.

"How's your ankle?" He whispered.

"Doesn't hurt now." Seungcheol's hand came down on Jeonghan's hair with a gentle stroke. Jeonghan is now hyper aware of the hand in his hair, the warmth seeping into his cheeks.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

 

-the next day-

The team got ready and gathered around their leader, who was sat on a chair. They put their hands together. A routine they did as a team.

"Say the name! SEVENTEEN!"

The concert started with a bang. They all performed a few songs while Seungcheol rapped his parts on a chair. Jeonghan made sure to always stay close to him, and the members did the same. Then came the unit performances. The vocal unit was going to perform "Love Rain." by Kim Tae Woo. It was coincidentally one of Seungcheol's favorite songs. Before Jeonghan went up, Seungcheol gave him a thumbs up from his chair. Jeonghan smiled back and let the platform slowly float up to the stage. The music started and their fans screamed in anticipation.

Joshua started the song and Jeonghan felt himself swaying to the beat. It wasn't a sad song, but a rather cheerful one, the quick rhythm of the song telling the story of how a couple shows their love to one another.

Jeonghan waited for his line and held the mic close to his lips.

"내 사랑이 입술에 닿으면  
널 사랑해 내게 외치며"  
(If my love touches your lips  
you cry out to me that you love me)

He let the lyrics flow through him as he sang, his eyes seemingly far away. How does it feel, he wondered, to be able to cry out their love so freely? He felt the two rings resting on his fingers as his mind drifted to a particular person who was currently sitting backstage. He shook the thought away. _That's enough wishful thinking for today._

The song ended and he gazed out into the distance wistfully as the platform slowly lowered him back down. The members hurried the vocal team members into position as they got ready for the next event: A MENT session. (MENT is when you talk during a concert)

"So, for tonight's MENT, what do we have prepared today?" Mingyu asked into his mic labeled "MC GYU".

"A Heart to Heart session!" Seungkwan announced excitedly as the audience screamed. "We each say something to each member. But it has to be from the HEART." Seungkwan emphasized. "Let's start with the youngest, Dino!"

"Ah, well, I am thankful for S.coups hyung for leading us so well and..."

Jeonghan thought about the members and what he was going to say. Then came his turn. He glanced at Seungcheol, a hundreds of memories flashing in front of his eyes as he struggled to come up with a way to condense them into a few lines.

"I'll start with our leader, Seungcheol. He is always the one with the most burden, and I am thankful that we have him as our reliable leader. He even takes good care of me when I'm sick, and aside from being a leader, he's also a great friend. I am forever grateful." The words came out in a rush but the audience cheered. Seungcheol smiled shyly. Jeonghan continued onto the next member, Joshua.

"Now, finally, our leader, S.coups!" The crowd went wild as Seungcheol was handed the mic. He faced Jeonghan as he started.

"Jeonghannie, I still remember the first day we met, you needed so much help then, with dancing and singing...I was worried you wouldn't make it into Seventeen. But eventually, I learned that I could lean on you too. You helped me realize that I could be a reliable leader and you gave me strength when it was tough. In a way, I also depend on you a lot."

His gaze never wavered from Jeonghan's even when his voice quivered. "Thank you for always being there. Please be by my side forever."

He took a deep breath.

"Jeonghan ah, I love you."


	13. Not like this

"Jeonghan ah, I love you."

Seungcheol's eyes flashed with an unrecognizable emotion and Jeonghan was rooted to the spot.

For a second, all he could see were the dark brown orbs that belonged to Seungcheol.

The audience below cheered. Maybe, to them, it was just a team leader proclaiming his love for his members. But Jeonghan knew what he saw. That look on his face. It was like how his parents would look at each other. He meant what he said.

"Um, next, Joshua..."

The concert eventually ended, they all stood in a line and held hands. Jeonghan stood next to Seungcheol, unable to meet his eyes. He felt fingers gently interlocking with his, held tightly. Was it his imagination or did his hand feel warmer than before? He put on a smile and bowed to the audience, too aware of the hand interlocked with his own. The stage closed in on them, and the boys started to walk to the back in the darkness.

Seungcheol didn't let go.

In the darkness, he pulled Jeonghan quietly into a corner. They stopped. Jeonghan could barely make out his face in the dark, but he could feel the warmth radiating off of the older, signaling how close he was.

"Jeonghan, I-"

"We should...follow the kids backstage. Get some rest." Jeonghan couldn't help but cut him off. He knew he was cruel for doing this but everything was happening too soon. Too fast. He needed time.

Seungcheol went silent for a while before nodding slowly.

"Yeah...we should." He said quietly. Jeonghan could only glance at Seungcheol's retreating figure.

_Not yet, Seungcheol. I'm sorry._

They eventually went backstage to meet up with the rest of the kids. After doing a live broadcast for their fans and taking tons of pictures, the team decided to go out to celebrate their first ever concert.

"Cheers!" They clashed their drinks together and Jeonghan gulped his glass down, the burning sensation remaining in his throat.

"Ooh, Jeonghan hyung is finally drinking?" Soonyoung exclaimed, a bit surprised. Jeonghan hummed and nodded, lifting his head only to accidentally meet Seungcheol's eyes across the table. They are warily surveying his own.

Jeonghan sucked in a breath and took another shot of soju and slammed it back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Hyung, slow down." Someone said. He didn't care. His brain started getting fuzzy somewhere along the seventh drink. He started getting rowdy and touchy, clinging to Joshua, who was sat beside him. He felt Seungcheol's burning gaze on him the whole time. Then he had a crazy idea.

"Joshua..." He said cutely. "Feed me some water, please?" After a few tries, Joshua begrudgingly held the cup to his lips while Jeonghan happily sipped away. Seungcheol looked more agitated than ever, his frown furrowing his eyebrows.

They eventually wrapped up and left for the dorms. Jeonghan clung to Joshua, settling his head on his shoulder for support. When they arrived, Joshua led him into his own room, and he peeked at Seungcheol, who slammed his own door closed. He waited until the members all retreated back to their rooms until he waltzed to Seungcheol's room in his hazy state and knocked a few times.

"What?" Seungcheol's impatient shout sounded. Jeonghan turned the doorknob anyway and was faced with a shirtless torso. He gulped.

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Jeonghan." Seungcheol said through clenched teeth, discarding his shirt on the bed in a swift throw.

"Why not? I'm hurt." Jeonghan said innocently, picking on his nails.

" _You're_ hurt?" Seungcheol yelled incredulously, and Jeonghan suddenly found his face inches from his, with Seungcheol's angry breath in his face.

"What about me? So you'd rather be with Hong Jisoo?" He half yelled, the veins on his neck popping out. "Are you that _repulsed_ by me-"

Jeonghan kissed him to shut him up. He had been looking at Seungcheol's lips for a while and was wondering how they tasted like.

He pulled back a bit, their lips still brushing against each other. Seungcheol looked at him in shock. Jeonghan felt his cheeks go warm and he tasted the liquid courage in his breath. He reached up and pulled Seungcheol down to him, their lips colliding. He felt warm in all sorts of places as he felt Seungcheol respond, kissing back almost desperately. Seungcheol knotted his fists in his shirt and pulled him harder against his chest, the growl low in his throat. Jeonghan's arms trailed from his neck to his bare chest, arching back as Seungcheol attacked his neck with his lips.

He was backed into a wall and their lips met again. He was warm. _Too_ warm, as their intimacy threatened to tear off the thin shirt that was separating them. He was delirious, high off of Seungcheol's lips, their hot breaths against each other. He fought back a moan when Seungcheol bit his lip, and the pressure below his stomach is getting harder to ignore. He wanted something _more_ , but not like this. He used every ounce of his willpower to push at Seungcheol's chest, separating them.

Both of them were panting like they just ran a marathon. Jeonghan glanced up to see the older's lips, swollen and inviting, as he fought the urge to kiss him again.

"I...I should go." He said breathlessly, avoiding Seungcheol's confused gaze as he stumbled out of the room in a daze.

Once back in his own room, he collapsed on the bed, his mind on a man a few rooms away, his taste etched into his memory.


	14. Reenactment

Jeonghan woke with a pounding in his head. His mouth tasted disgusting, the remnants of alcohol still lingering in his breath. Speaking of alcohol...

The memories of last night rushed through him like a hurricane, knocking the wind out of him. The embarrassment settled in as he felt his cheeks burn.

He arrived to practice anyway, the throbbing in his head heightening his annoyance. His emotions were confusing today and all he wanted to do is to get today over with. The door opened and their eyes connected and all Jeonghan wants to do is to crawl into a hole and never come out again.

Seungcheol looked good. _Too_ good even though all he is wearing is a white T-shirt and baggy sweatpants. His tousled hair indicated he only just woke up.

Seungcheol did not stop staring and Jeonghan pried his eyes away, his stupid heartbeat suddenly elevating. He did not miss the flash of disappointnent in Seungcheol's eyes. He huffed and forced himself to focus on practice, ignoring the dull ache growing in his chest.

Practice had never felt so tedious. Their eyes would meet and Jeonghan would always be struck at the confusion in Seungcheol's eyes and his mind is messed up again. Jeonghan had to remind himself to peel his eyes away, his eyes dropping to the floor everytime. Before long, it seemed like Seungcheol gave up and avoided looking at him completely. His voice kept getting louder as he scolded the members for getting a move wrong.

"What's with Coups hyung today?" Seungkwan panted, with a wronged expression. "I didn't think we did _that_ bad."

They were all sat on the floor after practice without Seungcheol, who left without a word.

"He does seem more uptight today." Dino remarked.

Jeonghan got up with a groan and waved to his members before exiting the room. He needed a nap and some air. He heard a voice in the hallway.

"Wonho hyung, you free? Let's grab a drink or something."

Jeonghan looked up and there he saw Seungcheol on the phone, leaning his head against a wall. Their eyes met again and Jeonghan hurriedly brushed past him, aware of the tingles when they were in close proximity for half a second.

Jeonghan couldn't sleep. No matter how tired he felt, his body refuses to lose consciousness.

He pictured Seungcheol getting drunk with Wonho. Under the lights of a club. He wondered if they invited anyone else. Is it a whole party or are they alone? Jeonghan couldn't decide which one is worse.

Jeonghan threw his pillow onto the floor. Screw his imagination.

A loud BANG in the living room made his eyes spring open. He checked his phone. It was 3AM. There was a groan of pain. Someone cursed.

He opened the door to find Seungcheol drunkenly yelling, leaning against Wonho, who was trying hard to prop him up, Jeonghan could not help but notice Wonho's hand on Seungcheol's back.

"Hey- Jeonghan! Please help me with Coups!" Wonho groaned under Seungcheol's weight, transferring the man into Jeonghan's arms. Seungcheol stilled when Jeonghan caught his arm.

Wonho left hurriedly, the stench of alcohol still present in the room.

Jeonghan half dragged Seungcheol into his room, settling him on the bed. Seungcheol was avoiding his gaze.

"I'll get you some water." Jeonghan offered.

"You don't need to do that for me."

"Yes, I do. You'll get a hangover-"

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Seungcheol demanded, standing up. Suddenly, his is level with Jeonghan, his eyes boring into the younger's.

The confusion and hurt in his eyes were almost too much to bear. Jeonghan could not seem to look away from the lost gaze under his messy fringe and all he wanted to do is to kiss him until everything is alright again.

So he did just that.

He stepped forward and he could register Seungcheol's eyes widening slightly before he closed the gap between them. He could taste the alcohol in his breath but he didn't care, grazing his lips across the older's. He hesitantly gauged Seungcheol's reaction, pressing their lips more firmly together before the other responded, kissing back almost helplessly. Jeonghan's hand came up and caressed the slight stubble on Seungcheol's jaw, the roughness of his skin prickling at his fingertips.

Then he was abruptly pushed away.

"No." Seungcheol's chest heaved, his voice cracking. "You can't do this."

Jeonghan instantly dropped his hand, the rejection feeling like a slap to his face.

"One second you refuse to even _look_ at me and you're kissing me in the next." Seungcheol said with a pained expression, exasperated. "What do you want?"

Jeonghan didn't know what to say. Part of him hates this. Hates that he cares so much about who went drinking with Seungcheol. Hates that Seungcheol pushed him away just then. Hates thay he still has the image of Wonho touching Seungcheol imprinted on his mind.

Hates that he might lose Seungcheol because of this.

He knows what Seungcheol is asking but the thought alone terrifies him to his core. A look towards the older makes his inside fire up, a voice in his head saying _to hell with this._

"I don't know...can't we just do...this?" Jeonghan drawled, pulling at his neck until their lips clashed again. Seungcheol made a small sound in his throat, then his arm wound itself around Jeonghan's waist and all he could feel is Seungcheol's warmth enveloping him. And he's home again. Seungcheol's hands pulling him impossibly closer to his body, breathing in his familiar scent. Jeonghan's hand trailed over his broad shoulders, down his chest until he stopped at the hem of his shirt.

He pulled away, seeing the half lidded desire in Seungcheol's eyes, tracing the edge of his shirt in a silent question.

In a swift move, Seungcheol took off his shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor. His bare chest toned and heaving in front of Jeonghan. Seungcheol took the lead then, flipping Jeonghan onto the bed and pressing himself against him, their lips tangled with each other.

With Seungcheol's hot breath on his lips, he could feel every curve of the older's body pressing against his, earning a moan from Jeonghan. Seungcheol's kisses got rougher, more desperate. _No labels, no promises._ Jeonghan let himself be tangled with Seungcheol until they hit oblivion.


	15. Bored

Seungcheol had always thought of himself as a straightforward guy. Whatever's on his mind, he would say it. All his friends call him an open book. Life would be simpler if everyone was like him, wouldn't it?

But life isn't this simple. At least not when he met Jeonghan.

After that night, their relationship seemed to go back to where it was before. Jeonghan stopped avoiding him but it left Seungcheol wondering what that night meant.

He soon found out when Seventeen had to do their first tour. Touring was great, of course, because they get to travel and see their fans. But one thing no one told them about was the homesickness and the boredom that comes with staying in hotel rooms.

"Ugh I'm going to sleep." Mingyu groaned, tired of scrolling on his phone.

"I'm gonna go out for some air." Feeling stuffy, Seungcheol got out of the room, leaving Mingyu alone snoring on his bed.

Walking along the hall, he could hear Soonyoung's voice in one of the rooms. He made a mental note to tell them to stay quiet after 12. He was about to head to the hotel's pool when a door opened in front of him. It was Jeonghan. Seungcheol stopped, his face flaring whenever he sees him. It seems like the possibility of a kiss hung over them ever since that night.

"Hey." Jeonghan said. Jeonghan looked like he just showered and was ready for bed in a simple T-shirt and shorts. His hair looked slightly damp with droplets hanging from the ends of the strands. Seungcheol's hands itched to touch his hair.

"Hey." He said instead.

Jeonghan peeked out of the room, surveying left and right before grabbing Seungcheol's arm to drag him inside.

The door clicked closed and Seungcheol barely stepped into the room before he felt Jeonghan's lips on his own. Seungcheol gave in for a moment, melting against Jeonghan's soft lips. Then he pulled away, startled.

"What?" Jeonghan said with a frown, slightly out of breath.

"Is Jisoo here? What are you doing?" Seungcheol said with a panic, looking inside the room.

"Relax. He went out for a swim. And for me, I'm bored." Jeonghan said as a matter-of-fact.

"You're bored." Seungcheol repeated.

"Yes. Now come here."

Seungcheol didn't know why he was being so obedient. It must be how Jeonghan's damp hair fell down in strands, framing his delicate face, or the younger looking like he _wants_ him. Because once Jeonghan was close enough for Seungcheol to catch a whiff of his shampoo he knew he's going to give in. Seungcheol closed the distance between them, their lips clashing once again.

Jeonghan smelled of peach and flowers. Seungcheol wound his arm around Jeonghan's body, pulling him closer until their bodies are pressed together. Jeonghan didn't seem to mind, wrapping his arms behind Seungcheol's neck while he nipped at the older's lips.

Jeonghan's lips are so soft. He felt the damp hair stick to his face but all he could think about was Jeonghan's hot breath down his neck. He surpressed a shiver, grabbing his delicate chin and bringing his lips back again.

"So...you're bored?" Seungcheol whispered between breaths, kissing down Jeonghan's neck. He found a hollow spot in his neck and heard the younger's gasp when he gently sucked on it. He chuckled, kissing his way down his chest.

"Aren't you?" Jeonghan said breathlessly, holding on to Seungcheol's shoulder for support. He felt Seungcheol laugh again, the sound sending a hum through his body.

"Bored? Not anymore." With a swift move, Jeonghan was lifted up into his arms. Seungcheol crossed the threshold to the bathroom, propping him onto the counter.

Jeonghan pulled Seungcheol to him, his fingers finding the buttons on his shirt.

"Still impatient, huh?" There's a smile in his voice. Jeonghan shut him up by kissing him, his fingers busy undoing the buttons. Once he was done, Seungcheol pulled away. Jeonghan whined a little.

"My turn." With a wicked glint in his eyes, Seungcheol reached for the younger's shirt. His fingers circled the edge of his waist. Jeonghan stilled, suddenly aware of how hard he is breathing.

Seungcheol slowly snaked his fingers beneath his shirt, caressing the skin there. Jeonghan shivered delicately, not sure whether his fingers felt too hot or too cold. Seungcheol finally lifted the shirt over Jeonghan's head. His eyes wandered to the newly exposed skin and back to Jeonghan's eyes again. There's a glint of satisfaction in his eyes that told him he liked what he saw.

Jeonghan held his breath. Seungcheol leaned in, his warmth radiating off of his body when he got close, their noses almost touching. Seungcheol's eyes flicked to his lips. Jeonghan was about to pull him in when he heard a click from the door.

Jisoo was back.

Seungcheol's eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Lock the door, lock the door-" Jeonghan whispered urgently, pointing to the bathroom door. Seungcheol came back to his senses and locked it.

"Jeonghan?" Jisoo's voice came from the door.

"Uh, yeah?" Jeonghan could barely hide the shakiness in his voice.

"Oh, you're in the bathroom." There was a shuffle. "The pool was great, you should join next time. Hansol also came."

"Oh, sure!" Jeonghan called out. He realized he is still in a comprising position with his legs wrapped around Seungcheol's waist. The older was looking at him with wide eyes.

The ridiculousness of the situation made Jeonghan burst into fits of giggles. His mouth was immediately covered by Seungcheol's hand, who looked like he's on the edge of laughing too.

"Shh!"

"No, you shh!"

"He's gonna hear you!" Jeonghan giggled again, covering Seungcheol's mouth too. Jeonghan was half naked with messy hair, giggling, and sitting on the countertop of the bathroom.

Seungcheol thought he couldn't have seen anything more beautiful in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Yes I changed the title  
> This is my first Jeongcheol fanfic and I've always wanted to write a pretty realistic style of fanfiction, hopefully you guys enjoy!  
> I also would love some feedback about my wiritng so it would be appreciated ♡  
> My twitter is @Jeonghanswings if you wanna spazz with me about Jeongcheol~~


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